Dear Ailee

Aku tak pernah bisa berteriak, apalagi untuk membentak. Saat itu seharusnya sudah kulakukan semuanya, sudah kukerahkan apa yang terpendam. Untuk memuntahkan darah dalam tubuhku ini pun aku ingin. Tapi selalu tak mampu. Wajah mu terlalu manis untuk tersiram ludahku. Tak ingin sama sekali ku menodainya. Darah dalam tubuhku terlalu kotor, untuk apa aku menahannya jika aku tidak pernah merasa ku pantas untuk memberikannya ke tubuhmu walau setetes.

Maka bukanlah sebuah penyesalan saat aku melepaskan pelukanku saat itu. Membiarkan kau menangis di luar sana hingga semua alam mendengar, bukan hanya jantungku saja yang membengkamnya. Namun benar saja sakit ini terasa begitu perih saat ku melihatmu menangis tanpa bisa lagi ku menghelanya. Aku tak bisa lagi merasakan perihmu, memang jahat bila ku mengatakan ini, tapi ku rindu teriakan itu di dadaku. Pukulan tanganmu dipunggungku saat kau merasa hidupmu begitu menyebalkan. Dan basahnya air mata itu di pundaku saat kau lelah berdiri dan hanya ingin menangis. Disana.

Dan ketika kau merasa hidupmulah yang terburuk, dengan yakin ku berikan perbandingan yang lebih buruk daripada itu. Senang dapat membuatmu berhenti menangis, namun tahukah kau saat itu aku sedang membuka kembali lembar terburuk dalam hidupku? Ku yakin kau tahu, maka kau berhenti menangis. Agar aku berhenti berkisah.

Aku tak menyesal, karna hanya kau yang datang disaat aku sangat terpuruk. Menunjukan sederet warna pelangi di langit. Namun pelangi itu kini telah memudar. Bukan memudar, telah kembali kelabu. Kau memutuskan untuk musnah dari dekapan ini. Tanpa ampun kau biarkanku tertiup angin, dingin, sendiri. Disini.

Jalan yang ku lalui terlalu keras dan gelap tanpa pelangi itu. Tapi aku terus berjalan dan tidak akan berhenti. Aku hanya berharap dipenghujung jalan itu, aku masih bisa menemukan dirimu.

Karna aku terlalu rindu memandang pipi merahmu saat tersipu melihatku.


HELLO!! This is my kind of tragic love story
Prolog only, too long to write it all here.
So sorry for the ending :( glad if you wanna tell me a better one ;) 


Me & Marching Band

These are some videos of me who play PIT in MBWG (Marching Band Waditra Ganesha) ITB
click the play button, enjoy, and find me ;D

I bet 90% of you failed to find me there, eumhaha I even still need an effort to guess where I am.

So, this is marching band, wikipedia said that a marching band is a group consisting of instrumental musicians performing outdoors for the purpose of entertainment, exercise, and sometimes in competition. Instrumentation typically includes brass, woodwinds, and percussion instruments. Most marching bands use some kind of uniform (often of a military style) that include the school or organization's name or symbol,shakos, pith helmets, feather plumes, gloves, and sometimes gauntlets, sashes, and/or capes. But what I know, marching band is all about discipline, trust, togetherness, and music. This is the place where we can play and apply our hobby while train our character. Yes discipline is a must for you who want to join, but if you don't have them, then don't ever think twice to try our practice! surely you will get the effect after a month, eumhahaha 

Marching band is so tough...... This what i thought first. Running, jumping, push up, sit up, standing under the-12-o'clock-sun, that's all my breakfast in practice time (which is almost everyday). I lost my holiday, I lost my quality time, I lost my beautiful face, I lost my white-skin, I LOST ALL OF MY IDENTITY (shut up, that's too much, dont be exessive). I got to meet many kind of people, most of them was so creepy. Too creepy to resist. I was like in the military training where they'll shoot me if I retreat D""": 

But I'm glad I was join this unit 2 years ago (actually I'm glad that I'm the PIT player so I don't have to do display)(yas too much alien words, i'll tell you later). Marching Band of Waditra Ganesha ITB. I thank to that-creepy-person who unexpected has practiced me about self-disipline, strengthen my mental, and grown up my muscle. Honestly, I'm getting more in love with the percussion skill that I've got, wait in a moment and I'm gonna be a master! (forget it)(that was a kidding)(sorry dear my real master). 

Now, this year is the third year I've been here. And I'm sure 2013 is the most memorable. It's not just because I got my marimba partner as my boyfie :p but I have spent almost a year together with my band for GPMB 2013 series, especially for my lovely line, PIT. We practice along, sleep, eat, laugh, play, sing, fight, argue, cry, yes try to understand each other was like we live together. I know that is unyu and pardon me if too lebay (caution, alien words), but that was all what i felt. That time was too precious, I really appreciate it. We tired and wanted to rescue, but we faced it together. 

Till came the time when our heart was broken, when we felt that everything was worthless, we cried in that room while people around was cheering. I still remember clearly that moment. Haha thank you for all the moment. We did lose, but victory is not everything. I never think a little regret to join this series. I got to learn a lot that I didn't know before. Maybe sometime we'll got that victory. thanks thanks thanks :*

NB (some explanation of that alien words you found before)
PIT : In a marching band or drum corps, the front ensemble or pit is the stationary percussion ensemble. This ensemble is typically placed in front of the football field, though some groups will work the front ensemble into a tight pod onto the marching field.
Display : a formation of player in field, except pit.
Unyu : :3
Lebay : exessive


Against The Past, huh?

have I ever told you about the best things in this world?
for me, maybe it's only about basketball, marching band, and architecture
but to have a lotta love is such the greatest feeling I've ever tasted
family, friend, bestfriend? I've got them

I might commit the sin or be shot of wanting more than I've already got

but I'm gonna tell you about the one who's willing to stroke my hair like a soft blowing breeze every time
when the sun comes up on another warning, my mind never wakes up without his warning
I'm cool alone, but with him I'm better

I could runaway but I'd rather stay
I don't care what they say
All that i need is to be left to live my way, so listen what i say

keep fill my day with your smile
cause now is time for us
please, remains like this, bi :)


"I Hate This Love Song"

This is the first song of Bigbang that I heard, it was about 8 months ago, and I couldn't believe that I instantly fell in love with the song so simply. Yeah, Love Song by Bigbang. I'm not sure what is the special part of that song which had made me in love so deeply, but I recognized that the music video is so classy and simple, but cool in the different way. and the song is full of meaning, well, you won't understand if you just hear the korean version, you must read the english translation and the meaning of the song will revealed. 

After this song, I started to hear all of bigbang's music, and it made me more falling with them. oh gosh, they are just too cool for this earth.... i love their music, their style, their appereance, their own ablity, i love all about 'em!! each of them has a different characteristic that match each other. 

I ask you to start hearing them too! I'm sure you won't be disappointed, tell me if you are!

(Trans) Love Song - Bigbang
One woman is becoming disaster
Even though a man is still singing
I’m tearing up at the thought of break up

I can’t touch you, I know yeah eh
I’m falling, catch me (hello)

I hate this love song… I hate this love song..
I hate this love song… I hate this love song.. x2

I hate this love song, I’ll never sing it again
So I can stop thinking of you, so I can finally forget you

I hate this love song, I’m going to sing it with a smile
In order to cure your loneliness, I’m going to you now
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-hoo

I’m scared, this world is meaningless
Take me to where you are, a place with the moon and stars

We were so beautiful, you know
You taught me what love was, hello

I hate this love song… I hate this love song..
I hate this love song… I hate this love song..

I hate this love song… I hate this love song..
I hate this love song… I hate this love song..

I hate this love song, I’ll never sing it again
So I can stop thinking of you, so I can finally forget you

I hate this love song, I’m going to sing it with a smile
In order to cure your loneliness, I’m going to you now
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-hoo

The warm rays of the sun are of another world
The field of reeds are dancing all alone
I remain paused at a green hill, holding a conversation I’ve yet to finish with her
The sky is of an expressionless face that holds no answers
You’re probably hiding behind the clouds, you’re probably a star

I close my eyes and feel your breath, I dream of you
A smile spreads across my lips, you’re breathing with me now
Time, please stop, don’t divide her and I
Wind, stop blowing, this is my last letter to you

I hate this love song, I’ll never sing it again
So I can stop thinking of you, so I can finally forget you

I hate this love song, I’m going to sing it with a smile
In order to cure your loneliness, I’m going to you now
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-hoo

The Official Pimp

Birth Name   :   Choi Seunghyun
Stage Name  :   T.O.P
Birthday        :   4 November 1987
Position         :   Lead Rapper, Beat Boxer of Bigbang

"I think we're about FREEDOM, not fake freedom where we're pretending to be free on the outside"

Alive GALAXY Tour 2012

kalo dibilang 2012 itu tahun gue banget, gue cuma bisa ngomong alhamdulillah dan makasih banyak buat yang udah ngasih gue kebahagiaan ini. makasih karna gue ngerasa di kasih nikmat banget di tahun ini. selain berhasil meraih impian gue dengan masuk itb, gue juga dikasih kesempatan buat ketemu artis favorit gue.

tau siapakah beliau? sotil parah lo semua!!!! eumhahaha. gue lagi suka banget sama band korea yang namanya bigbang tahun ini. parah coy, ga ngerti deh ada band sekece mereka, gue yang baru tau aja langsung kecuci otaknya dan mendadak melupakan leeteuk yang kenyataanya emang udah tua dan harus segera di gantikan, sori teuk :3

dan bahagianya sih, walaupun baru beberapa bulan suka mereka, gue langsung dapet kabar kalo bigbang bakal ngadain tour concert ke indonesia, woaah, seneng parah lah walaupun dalem hati gamau ngarep berlebihan sih karna ya tau sendiri fans bigbang sebanyak apa, kedapetan tiket aja blom tentu mbak, huft.

tapi yaaaaaa berkat segala doa dan kepanikan dari seluruh penjuru tempat bimbel yang kebetulan lagi gue pinjem komputernya buat rebutan tiket online sama seantero fans bigbang di indonesia bareng seorang teman yang setia nemenin gue padahal mestinya kita belajar buat snmptn nih, DAPET NIH COYYYY TIKET STANDING B2 NYA EUMHAHAHA. saking senengnya gue sampe guling gulingan di atas lantai bimbel yang kenyataanya lagi rame orang belajar, bego. mau gimana lagi dong coooy, lagian akhirnya gue berhasil bergumul dengan yang namanya beginian, jujur aja ya ini first time gue loh nonton konser selain indonesian idol, ya emang agak alay sih, jadi wajarkan kalo seneng gue berlebihan.

dan setelah penantian yang cukup lama semenjak pembelian tiket akhirnya tiba juga tanggal 13 oktober yang sangat di tunggu-tunggu!! yeah it's the day!!! pagi pagi banget gue udah berangkat ke meis loh buat ngantri tiket hahaha, gila! ya emang gue gila kalo udah ngomongin idola, mangapa??!!

nih foto ngantri nya -->
kalo lo beruntung sih lo bakal nemuin kepala gue diantara tumpukan kepala2 ini

yang ngebetein dan bikin pengen banget bakar meis sih ya ngantri nya ini, bayangkanlah kawaannn lo ngantri dari jam 10 melewati segala perjuangan dempet-dempetan dan ngep-ngepan ditambah matahari ancol yang bener-bener kaya cuma berjarak sejengkal dari ubun-ubun lo DAN gate nya baru di buka jam 7 malem, kreji. bahkan gue juga heran kenapa gue masih hidup waktu itu. tuhan memang punya rencana :3

WELLL, lansung aja ye nih, finally gate nya dibuka dan kita berlarian kesana kemari mencari pintu dari section kita, bener-bener berasa lagi di acara running man kalo ngebayangin hectic nya lari sambil nyari-nyari temen yang kebetulan kepisah dari rombongan, hemmmm.

yasudahlah, dibalik kesusahan pasti ada kebahagiaan #eaaa, rasanya udah masuk ke venue nya tuh kaya di siram pake air es, oke, mungkin bagi kita yang abis ngep-ngepan ga manusiawi di luar sana dan langsung di masukin ke ruangan ber ac kaya gini tuh kalo kata SO7 kaya anugrah terindah yang pernah kumiliki banget deh.....

dan lo mesti tau gimana opening concert nya coyyyy, parah gilak mampus bajingan SUPER MEGA GIGA BOMBASTIS SPECTACULAR!!!!! nih gue kasih video nya, mesti banget di tonton!!

video's not mine

GOKIL COYYYY, waktu tirai nya turun bener-bener gue gabisa mikir pake akal sehat lagi, sekeliling gue bener-bener jerit semua kaya abis ketemu werewolf, bener-bener jeritan yang gapernah gue denger sebelumnya, dan sepertinya di bawah alam sadar gue juga jerit2an kaya gitu sih. apalagi kebetulan gue standing nih, ya monggo bayangkan sendirilah apa yang terjadi selama pertunjukan di section tersebut.

ga ngerti lagi deh gimana ngegambarin betapa puasnya gue dengan konser bigbang yang satu ini, sound system bombastis, lighting spektakuler, aksi panggung super sekali, apalagi lagu sama personilnya gue suka semua, dan yang bikin makin gila adalah fans nya ganas-ganas pisan. gapapalah ya kali-kali ganas-ganasan sesama fans hahaha.

yang sedikit bikin nyesel sih karna gue bener-bener lupa buat moto aksi mereka di panggung dengan kamera gue sendiri, ya namanya terlanjur hectic dan kebawa arus jingkrak-jingkrak orang-orang sekitar. gue tau kok lo penasaran sama dokumentasi konsernya kan? yaudahlah nih gue kasih yang official dari tim mereka langsung deh nih -->

yang bisa nemuin kepala gue, gue kasih sugus

aishhh surely i miss that day so much...please comeback to indonesia, dear bigbang!!
pulang-pulang gue gatau lagi gimana kabar baju yang gue pake nonton waktu itu, baunya udah senista kambing abis main di lumpur penuh ikan asin. be tough ya ju, padahal lo baru gue pake dua kali, tapi harus tega gue masukin tong sampah TT.TT

NB: mau betis keras dan indah? berdirilah 7 jam saat ngantri gate + jinjit 3 jam saat konser dimulai dan lanjutkan dengan berjalan 2 km dari meis ke parkiran mobil. percayadeh, it works. 

Impian Dan Kenyataan

warning: postingan 1 ini tidak disarankan untuk mereka yang sensitif dengan kesombongan

gilaaakkkk woooyyyy udah lama banget gue ga ngepost, saking lamanya sampe2 kayanya ke jayusan gue selama ini udah sirna nih #eaaa_part1

betewe betewe betewe lo tau ga sih hal terpenting yang pengen banget gue share selama ini tp ga pernah nemu waktu yg tepat, oke ini bukan kalimat sok sibuk atau maksud menduakan blog gue tercinta ini #eaaa_part2. tp beneran deh ini tuh penting bajingan blay.

kalo lo lo semua pembaca setia blog gue dr jaman ini blog orok sampe viewers nya udah belasan ribu begini #eaaa_part3, pasti lo semua tau apa impian terbesar gue selama gue idup dan apa guna dari segala perjuangan gue sampe setiap harus bangun jam 4 pagi karna kenyataan punya sekolah di ujung kulon.

IYA COOOOOYYYY, IYA BANGEEEEEEEETTTTTT, GUE KETERIMA DI SEKOLAH ARSITEKTUR PERENCANAAN DAN PENGEMBANGAN KEBIJAKAN INSTITUT TEKNOLOGI BANDUNG!! kyaaaa kyaaaaaaaaa alhamdulillah ya tuhan ya robi ya orang tua ya guru2 ya teman2 ya pembaca setia ramania's land ya si 'ehem'. ALHAMDULILLAH!!!

akhirnya gue bisa menaklukan si gajah ijo ganesha itu eumhahahaha. terbukti bukan di dunia ini memang tidak ada yang mustahil asal kita percaya dan mau berusaha + berdoa #eaaa_part4

nih coy bener2 gue udah official mahasiswi itb -->

kalo lo yg baca postingan ini udah keburu mikir kalo gue itu orang nya sombong bener sampe beginian aja di tulisnya selebe orang lagi di kejar anjing, maaf-maaf aja nih, well sebenernya inti dari apa yang gue tulis di sini cuma pengen ngasih lo studi kasus aja, kalo seorang anak yang bener-bener kopong ga bisa apa-apa, bahkan seringkali direndahin karna malesnya melebihi kucing obesitas, bisa ngewujudin apa yang dia pengen. efek sampingnya emang bikin jantungan orang-orang sih, dikit doang kok.

walaupun masuk itb emang tujuan hidup terbesar gue, tapi perjalanan gue ga berenti sampe disini doang bro, gue harus jadi future architect yang bener-bener berguna bagi nusa dan bangsa #eaaa_part5, wish me luck lagi ya ^^v

by the way,
gimana dengan lo? apa impian lo selanjutnya?